How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
