I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
