who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
