That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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