just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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