Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
