you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
