I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
