Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
