Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
