Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
