It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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