I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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