Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
