i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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