it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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