good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
so much tequila, so little girl.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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