i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
