Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
This girl is more easily done than said...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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