That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
