So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So many bounce houses so little time
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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