Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
