...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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