Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
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did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
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As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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