My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
