yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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