the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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