U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
