My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
