Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
