dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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