it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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