Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
PANTIES FOUND
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