super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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