She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
