He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
