ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
