Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
