THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
birth control should be required to get into college
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Terrible idea I love it
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
