Where is the hickey?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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