i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
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my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
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Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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