so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Acid is not a monday night drug
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
