I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
