I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
