No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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