How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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