Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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