sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
