i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
