Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
