well I can't set my house on fire every night
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize