One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
