you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
