So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
