just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Bring me that man meat
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
