I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
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He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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