i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize