I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
