You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
