You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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