You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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