the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
