i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
