I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
