So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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