party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
