Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
no you cant smoke seaweed
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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