handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize