The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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