hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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