Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
