You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
