Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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